If, like me, you have rather traditional parents, they have probably already told you: “Your generation is going down the drain. We knew how to behave in our time.”
We have come a long way since the legalization of the pill and the arrival of condom distributors in the subway. In the morning, reality TV shows display candidates spending their lives in bathing suits. You can watch porn just about anytime on your phone. Tinder, Happn and AdoptAGuy allow us to “get to know” our neighborhood better than any neighbor’ party — no need for sausage rolls when you have Grindr.
Rocked in the digital world, our generation has everything to get laid. But what if I told you my parents were wrong? That young people’s sexuality was earlier in their time? While we grew up in front of American Pie and Beverly Hills, why do some even go so far as to choose abstinence?
Pull up your fly, we’re running the investigation.
Eat, pray, work
Generation Y is twice as likely to be sexually abstinent in its twenties as its baby boomers elders. I am not the one who says it, but the International Academy of Sexual Research.
Surprising? Not so much. As the Master degree becomes the norm, everything suggests that our careerism is killing our libido. We think about our money more than the missionary, organization before orgasm. The Blue Mountain State myth is dead: according to the OCSLS, one in five American students graduate without losing their little flower.
Others will put the blame on the screens. Pornhub is just a click away… just like Netflix or Instagram. The teenager of the last century was content with a Playstation and had to steal his father’s Playboys. Now over-solicited, everything would be so easily accessible that his priorities and occupations would have logically changed. Sex would then be a source of pleasure like any other, but still far from being the most important.
While the millennials era is proclaimed the hook-up culture, the figures seem to indicate otherwise. Beyond the studies carried out, and my personal mores, I was therefore curious to know about the motivations of young people who were disinterested in the thing…
Hi, Julie. Can you start by introducing yourself?
My name is Julie, I am 23 years old and I am a business student in Paris.
I’m going straight to the point. When was the last time you had sex?
Indeed (laughs)! That was almost a year ago.
Were you in a relationship?
No. I didn’t choose abstinence after a traumatic breakup or something. I just realized I was spending too much time looking for a partner.
Usually when I found a guy to have fun with, it was on Tinder. But it took too much effort. Talking, going out for a drink… I’ll pass.
How about one-night stands?
I’m not interested in that option either. I need to know the person at least a minimum, not just after three drinks in a club.
Yet knowing a person takes time. Isn’t that exactly what you blame Tinder for?
It’s a little weird put it that way, yes (laughs). But with Tinder, there is also this “supermarket” aspect that bothers me. I can’t help thinking that one guy is talking to ten other girls at the same time. On the other hand, I was doing it too… but I didn’t like doing it either.
I’ ll give you that, it’s almost a rule about apps. That really bothered you?
Definitely. I don’t like being seen as an option…
Do you ever miss sex?
I’m very open about masturbation, so not especially. Even if I like sex, I’m fulfilled enough to find my balance without it. I don’t want to be a dating either. My studies fascinate me, my friends surround me. I have a full life already!
Do your friends know about your choice?
It’s still something intimate, so I’m not gonna shout it from the rooftops either. But the closest people do, yes. They completely understand that.
Do you think this is a final decision?
No, of course. I’d like to start a family someday. But I don’t ask myself that question yet. All that matters right now is me… •