"Miss me already?": dressing for your big return

18 January 2019 | Posted by Zackary

Whether you’re suffering from a burn-out, or taking a quiet getaway in rehab, coming back after a long absence is never easy.

Besides finding your marks in society again, you will have to relearn how to respond to all those people who don’t know how much you hate them. To ease their conscience and remind themselves of what fabulous friends they are, most will come to ask about you in order to chitchat better afterwards.

So how do you silence the gossip? Fortunately, the problems that caused your temporary disappearance will have already made you thin — otherwise, here’s some wise advice. Therefore, all you have to do now is lie about your psychological state, pretend you’ve never felt so good… and wear an outfit that will give your critics something to chew over.

Like Beyoncé returning to Coachella after giving birth to the two richest Gremlins in the universe, we rely on sequins to attract all eyes. You know they’ll be watching you, so you might as well take it to the end. Whether you wear them on a jacket, bag or top, the rule is always the same: only one element of the outfit should shine. (Gucci model. “I’m broke” version here.)

To dominate in the concrete jungle, the animal print always has its effect. In a refined version, the vegan leather shirt with snake skin effect is no exception. To be worn oversized for a precious, yet modern look. (MSGM model on sale. Unisex “I’m broke” version here.)

Less is more, some say — not me. Nevertheless, I admit that sobriety can be good, as long as it is based on a well-crafted cut. In this spirit, high pleated high waist pants will be your best ally. If the belt is optional, the waist being already marked, this can be an opportunity to add an accessory that is a bit out of the ordinary. (Lemaire model. “I’m broke” version here.)

Speaking of accessories, none shouts as much “comeback” as much as a pair of XXL glasses with black lenses. Our special favorite: the brand SO.YA and its unique shapes, combining clean lines with beautiful material effects (SO.YA “MAM” model.)

Moschino clutch bag. If all this delicious attention becomes too stressful, just take a Prozac… •

Hugh Hefner's and Donatella Versace's love child, I am the visible half of the duo behind ZACKARIUM. In love with fashion since I was in short pants, my mission is to guide you smoothly through the jungle of brands and catwalks.

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